We recently visited the Shenandoah River Valley in Western Virginia. You might have heard the name before, made famous by John Denver in the song Country Road.
We had visited the Blue Ridge Mountains and the Lost River State Park in West Virginia during the Covid-19 summer of 2020, as it was a safe place to go. Very few people, beautiful nature, amazing mountains and stunning views. We loved it so much that we decided to return during spring break 2021, this time visiting western Virginia. Across the state border. Again enjoying the Blue Ridge Mountains and this time exploring Shenandoah River Valley. It did not disappoint.
Reflecting upon our experiences in the country of blue mountains and deep green valleys made me think of perspectives.
As a coach I often use perspective shifting as a tool to help my clients get unstuck. In a previous podcast I shared about the power of the stories we tell. The stories about who we are, where we have been and where we are going.
From what perspective are you writing your life and career story?
Creating some mental and emotional distance to what your are experiencing or to your past can help your find new opportunities, creative solutions and reframe a painful past.
Think about what a frame is. It is something we place around a painting. The picture stays the same, but the frame can be changed. Different styles of frames bring out different aspects of the painting, or perhaps completely overwhelms it?
In psychology we often speak about reframing difficult experiences through therapy. Exploring perspectives that give a new meaning to your past failures as you rewrite the story of a victim to a story about having agency. Of someone who has the capacity and strength to make your own choices and act with purpose.
How can a shift in perspective help you at work? Let’s say you have been promoted and your new post is in a different country. You have relocated internationally since your purpose is to implement change. To get this office to buy into and align with the vision from Headquarters.
You are working hard, you are communicating what you were supposed to. Changing processes. Explaining why the new way of doing things is better than how work has been done before, but they are not agreeing with you. They are resisting you every step of the way. Your level of frustration is rising, you are starting to see the “locals” as obstacles, not partners. The way you are used to drive change is not working. But it worked before!
Stop right there. It is time for a perspective shift.
What worked before doesn’t necessarily always work everywhere.
Start by describing as objectively as possible what is happening. What the situation is and how you are perceived by others.
Then ask yourself:
- Is there a different way to look at the situation?
- Is my current way of seeing and understanding the only way?
- What assumptions am I making about the situation and the people?
- Are they reality-based or not? How can I know?
- What other explanations might there be?
- Is there something here I do not know?
- What do I need to learn?
- What do I need to unlearn?
- Who can help me?
- How am I influencing the situation?
- Do I know what they really think and feel?
- How can I find out?
Take a Listening tour!
These are just a few samples of questions that can help us shift perspectives in a challenging situation at work.
Similarly, we may need to shift our perspective on a personal level.
First identify and describe the situation you are in, the feeling you are experiencing and your motivation to change. Let’s say you failed in a job interview recently. It was THE JOB you really wanted. The once-in-a lifetime opportunity. You are feeling really disappointed, you are mad at yourself, for letting yourself down. You are thinking you will never get an opportunity like this again. You are a loser. You are stuck in your current uninspiring situation.
Then ask yourself:
- How does this perspective make you feel?
- How is it influencing your sense of self and self confidence?
- How is that serving you?
- What are the possibilities it is creating for you?
- What is the cost and benefit (payoff) of staying with this perspective?
- Do you want to explore another perspective?
- What might that perspective look and feel like?
If it is difficult for you to explore a different, more positive and solution focused approach, then think of someone who is famous for bouncing back from failures. It can be a celebrity, or perhaps a friend or colleague.
- Ask yourself how they would frame a similar situation?
- Perhaps they would describe it as learning, growth, persistence and not giving up?
- Try to use one of these perspectives to reframe your miserable job interview.
The thing to remember is to stay away from black and white thinking. When we are stuck in this frame of mind we tend to use language that is judgmental, we might use words like “always”, “never”, “I should”, “I must”. This is not helpful
Back to Shenandoah Valley – at the ridge of the mountains we enjoyed these splendid views of the valley below and the blue and green mountains further away. However, our perception of the valley changed, depending on our location and which way we looked. When we hiked down the mountain ridge and looked up, we saw trees, a steep ridge and a blue sky. When we reached the top, the experience was something very different. We saw a wide open landscape with highs and lows.
What are you seeing?
You can listen to my podcast on the topic here:https://www.khdinternational.com/podcast-2/
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